The X Doctored

So here we begin another season of X Factor, so another season of brainwashing nonsense. But hang on, it has caused some controversy. Can this be true? Two of my Room 101s have come together to create a complete and utter farce really.

Now, don't get me wrong, the X Factor is a show I frequently ignore and really want nothing to do with. Even with being a big Paul McCartney fan, I still didn't watch it when he appeared on it. But then this morning, to my amusement, there was the news headline "X Factor accused of doctoring singing voices". But I had to take a look. Sour grapes, some might say. Until, that is, a spokesman for the TV "show" admitted that the vocals for particular contestants have been enhanced to make the "singing sound better". So, what we are being told is basically the producers of the show are using Autotune. Which is a cop out way of covering up the fact that some of the people in this corporate conveyor belt of so-called talent cannot actually sing. They are then told that they are through to the next round because they are "really talented". Which clearly they are not because their own singing voices have been enhanced with electronics to make it palatable. And that voice that has caused the controversy is quite clearly synthesized.

I'm still not sure what annoys me more. The X Factor? The smug arsehole Simon Cowell? Or is it the fact that it has sunk to an all new low that we are literally listening to robots singing. Singing is a talent in its own right. It's an art form, whether you are pitch perfect or not quite. But using Autotune at a live concert, or even on a TV talent show that relies on people singing, has rendered both outputs pretty much useless. It certainly cannot be classed as a truly live performance. There are plenty of vocalists out there that can't hold a note particularly well or there are those that don't have a particularly good intonation. Bob Dylan couldn't sing for toffee. Johnny Cash is another that wasn't particularly tuneful. But both thankfully did not feel the need to hide behind bloody Autotune. True, Johnny Cash is sadly no longer with us, but Dylan still is and is still touring and going strong without the use of enhancements. But in any case, they had more than just singing. They had emotion, charisma and the knack to pen a good tune and a good set of lyrics as well. I use those two examples as Simon Cow Bell decreed that neither Johnny Cash nor Bob Dylan would ever make it past audition stages of X Factor. Which is fine because I'd rather watch five hours of the legendary Johnny Cash (who had the so-called X Factor long before Simon Cow Bell was a twinkle in his dad's eye) than an hour of electronically enhanced, charisma-free conveyor belt twaddle, who excepting a select few, have done nothing since winning. So when you are queueing to electronically download the Christmas number 1 contender, remember the singing may be done by a robot and it will be as electronic as your download. So go buy something else.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and everyone has different views as to what entertainment is, and mine certainly isn't watching a TV talent show selling live singing that is in actual fact only slightly live with electronic enhancements. Some people like it, which is fine. Just don't include me in it. I'm just happy that in these times there is some light relief - rock legends Iron Maiden topping the album charts with their latest album The Final Frontier. Bruce Dickinson, a singing force to be reckoned with and not an Autotune gizmo in sight! Bliss.