Saturday 16 October 2010

Some say he's a money grabbing, greedy, disloyal, sawn-off twat.... all we know is....

I've thought long and hard as to my feelings on Ben Collins and what Daily Mail readers will no doubt refer to as "Stig-gate". I've stopped myself for some time actually writing a blog about it because I've done that much verbal ranting about it, normally with Alec, that it didn't warrant any musings on the interweb.

However, I have just finished watching two episodes of Fifth Gear from the new series and that has changed my mind and I feel the need to vent somewhat. Vicki Butler-Henderson is as lovely as ever, although she's spending less on-air time on it now owing to the fact that she's pregnant. I like Tiff Needell as well, but I just cannot really watch a full episode of 5th Gear as Jason Plato annoys me and the other presents are that memorable that I can't actually remember who they are. Now, however, they have added Ben Collins to the team over at Channel Five. Or just "Five" as it's now known. Or the channel that shows only three programmes I actually watch.

He introduces himself as the man that has spent too long inside a stormtroopers outfit for his liking. Bearing in mind, the man had a contract with the BBC to not reveal his identity. He breached that contract for revealing himself in the autobiography he was writing at the time. Granted most people could have made an educated guess as to who the Stig was, but the whole point of the Stig is that no one really knew except for the people who worked with Top Gear and those within the industry. The whole point of The Stig is (or was, depending on whether Top Gear bring the Stig back) the mystery surrounding it. Children love the Stig. People who don't even like cars watch Top Gear (yes I mean you Jayne and Katherine) because it's entertainment rather than an out-and-out car programme and the Stig is/was the driving force behind it. However, since Ben Collins has become greedy it's all become a bit of a biting-the-hand-that-feeds-you kind of scenario.  All in the name of making a fast buck, he's written an autobiography for which he hopes to sell a few books at Christmas. Which got him the sack. I for one will never buy the book. I'm not interested in who the Stig is portrayed by. I'm interested in the Stig itself.

Jeremy Clarkson once noted that the reason the identity of the Stig was never revealed or why he never spoke was that motorsport drivists are not interesting in any way, shape or form and that their opinions are not worth anything. Judging by what I've seen him do on 5th Gear, this is totally correct. Like I mentioned before, he introduced himself as being locked in a stormtroopers outfit too long for his liking. Isn't it any bloody wonder? His presenting skills are non existent. I've seen paint brushes with more personality than him, and his delivery and general attitude is as wooden as a mahogany dining table. A supreme driver he may be. Another Clarkson, May, Hammond, Butler-Henderson or Needell he certainly is not. In fact he's not even another Jason Plato which is shocking.

If you are going to buy someone an autobiography for Christmas this year, do me a favour. Don't buy his. I was heartened to see it half price already in my local branch of Tesco.

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