Oh fuckbuckets, I need to rant. This particular post is not meant to be funny (if it is, that's a welcome side effect). It's just a rant. I am going to rant as I feel the need to rant, rant and rant some more. In between which I would like to rant. And when I've finished I'd perhaps also like to have a go at ranting.
So what is to be the subject of it now? You mean you had to ask? Who the fuck do you think it is? Yes, correct, it is fucking Bonio. The second rate singist, fifth rate song writist but first rate egomentalist and NAUSEATING FUCKING WANKER not only wears stupid fucking glasses that look like bad fitting eye protection goggles coloured in by an infant with a crayon, but he's earned some money. Oh yes!
The aforementioned NAUSEATING FUCKING WANKER is already a TAX EXILE from his own country of origin. But once upon a time, he decided to buy a share in Facetubemybookspace. You see, the Oirish NAUSEATING FUCKING WANKER is a managing director of a company called Elevation Partners. Quite how he is a managing director of anything is beyond me as he can't manage that HUGE FUCKING EGO. Twat. Elevation Partners bought 1.5 per cent of the company wot runs Facebook, innit, for $195 million last year. So Facebook is currently rated at $50 billion which means, fuck me, that NAUSEATING FUCKING WANKER's share is worth $728 million. YES, $728 FUCKING MILLION. I mean, fucking hell, you could get someone killed for that. I also have a target in mind. I'll give you three guesses. And yes, I realise just how many times I've typed fuck, and really, I don't give a fuck how many times I've typed fuck. It's a fucking rant so I have a fuck quota I need to fill and it's no where near full. Fuck it. Fuck fuckety fuck fuck.
Now, for once I won't waffle on about the world debt that NAUSEATING FUCKING WANKER could solve with that large windfall. I won't go on about previously mentioned tax exile stuff. Or the current debt problem in NAUSEATING FUCKING WANKER's homeland. Oh, no. Now NAUSEATING FUCKING WANKER has a bit of money, he can at least go out and buy a pair of shades that fucking fit and don't look they were coloured in with a crayon by and infant. Prick. No, woops, they're useful. I think we can all live with a little less Bono in our lives.
I'd like to end with a quote:
"Make poverty quieter, Make Bono history" - Michael Barnes